Archive for July, 2010

Are You Addicted To Busyness?

Monday, July 19th, 2010 at 4:00 am  
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Are You Addicted to Busyness?

By Carlene Ashby

“..ask us to lighten our load, actually say no to a task, and we start to panic. As if our world would shatter if we slowed down.  The truth is, we’ve become so controlled by shoulds, oughts, musts, have-tos that we’ve lost sight of what’s honestly important.” ~ Barbara Stanny

Is this you?  Do you have trouble slowing down?  Difficulty saying no? Problems staying present with what you are doing?

Are you addicted to busyness?  I confess, I am.  It is my biggest vice.

It is a major problem amongst most people these days, especially entrepreneurs.  Think about it, when was the last time you sat down to eat a meal in silence without reading or watching tv?  Can you just sit on your deck and pay attention to the sun on your skin, or do you need to have your laptop there, checking emails compulsively?  Is your phone on 24 hours a day?

The irony of the addiction to busyness is that it comes from a drive to succeed and a compulsion to get more done, but it is actually counterproductive because the well of what needs to be done never runs dry.  The well just gets deeper as society’s expectations of productivity increases.

In today’s society, multitasking is an expectation.  Doing one thing at a time, mindfully, is almost impossible with the invention of Blackberrys, iPhones, faster computers, dvds in vehicles, and laptops that keep getting smaller and more portable.  We can’t even stop texting while we drive for crying out loud.  But why are we doing this?  Truly, what is the point of this multi-tasking?

My answer has always been, “well, if I get more done now, then I can relax later.”  I’ve always included technologies that help me get several things done at once, so that I can be done.  But I’m never done!

At the end of the day, when I should be able to feel great about what I’ve accomplished and relax, I just feel anxious about all the things I have to do tomorrow and all the things I could be doing in that moment.

I have structured my lifestyle so that I work part-time so I can enjoy free time and pursue my passions which most people would find enviable, but lately I’ve noticed that I am not enjoying any of that extra time because I am thinking about work while I’m doing it.

Does any of this ring a bell for you?  If so, you may want to do this week’s assignment and detox the busy drug from your life.

Your Prosperity Assignment Should You Choose To Accept It:

1)     Organize yourself- Many times we’re doing too many things at once because we’re just taking on projects as they pop up and shifting our priorities as the day goes on.  As more projects come up, write them down in your daytimer (you do use one, right?!) and decide which needs to happen next.  Decide if you can finish what you are doing, or if you need to come back to it.

2)     Say NO!  Stop adding things to your plate simply because someone asks.  If you find it hard to say no, try this, “Thanks for asking, but no, I simply can’t.”  It works well because there is nothing to argue with.

3)     Do one thing at a time…Just for today!-  I will not tell you to just simply do one thing at a time for the rest of your life and- tada!-  problem solved.  Au contraire.  It will take time to practice doing one thing at a time, so challenge yourself in each moment to be present with what you are doing.  Eat sitting down and taste your food.  Write your blog with the tv off.  Check your email once a day- okay twice.  Drive without talking on your phone or texting.  Watch tv without trying to work!  Just be present with whatever you are doing for a moment, an hour, a morning, a day.

4)     Write down all your beliefs about relaxation, work, multi-tasking, busyness, etc and question them.  Do The Work of Byron Katie on your thoughts and see if you can find alternative realities to your current thoughts and beliefs.  You may surprise yourself.  Visit www.thework.com on how to do inquiry.

5)     Schedule down time.  If you want to end your work day at 8pm, turn off the phone at 8, turn off the computer and relax with a cup of tea and a good book.  But don’t do chores or work.  Just enjoy and see what happens!

© Copyright 2010 Carlene Ashby

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What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Monday, July 5th, 2010 at 3:44 pm  
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Little Gril PaintingWhat Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

By Carlene Ashby

“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it.  The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.”  ~Earl Nightingale

When we were little, and people asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up, our answers were things like, astronaut, fireman, princess, Olympian, ninja, Barbie…you know, the usual answers.

As we get older, most of us lower our expectations to more suitable careers that are simpler to attain than becoming a nuclear physicist or a 7-foot blonde with impossible proportions and a pink corvette.

But what if your lowered expectations never quite feel right?  Or you just can’t find that one thing that makes you tick.  Many people come to me with problems that stem from the fact that they are not passionate about their lives because their careers, well, for lack of a more concise description-suck.

I have a few different thoughts on this.

A) Choosing one career for the rest of your life is archaic and boring.  Be open to changing careers.  It is okay to have a side job or part-time gig that you love which could turn into a full-time thing in the future if you wanted it to.

B) Doing what you love does not always have to be paid work.  Volunteer opportunities and continuing education classes are great opportunities to try out different vocations.

C) If you are not passionate about your life simply because your job sucks, then either you are working way too much, or you are not making enough of your down time.  The term work hard, play hard is an excellent suggestion.  Use your down-time for whatever you love, not just “relaxing” in front of the tv.

The obvious solution to career dissatisfaction is to search for a career that is more in line with your likes and loves.

What did you love doing as a kid?  It is usually a good indicator of what you’d enjoy now.  If you loved digging in the dirt, perhaps landscape design would be your next career.  If you loved sports, perhaps becoming a sports journalist or personal trainer would suit you.

There is always a connection to find, as long as you are open to finding it.
Your Prosperity Assignment Should You Choose To Accept It:

1.      Make a list of things that turn you on.  It doesn’t have to be something that you are good at, or have even tried.  It can be glass blowing, yoga, ultimate fighting, gardening, writing, dancing, hiking, accounting, painting, landscaping, whatever.  As long as it sparks a love within you. Circle your top 5.

2.      Research opportunities to pursue your top 5 loves.  It may be job opportunities, volunteer opportunities, workshops, continuing education classes, college courses or simply visiting a hobby store.

3.      Write out the steps you need to take to integrate your loves into your life.  Schedule each of these steps into your daytimer.  Be aware that your schedule may start to look very full.  That is what happens when you play as hard as you work.  The playing starts to take up equal space!

4.      Take time to dream about what you want to be when you grow up and allow yourself to keep following those dreams, regardless of whether or not your career cooperates!

© Copyright 2010 Carlene Ashby

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